All one must do, is to turn on the light. My story out of darkness.
I have written today's blog, as to why I have chosen a spiritual path as my mission in life. Where I was in life, what lead me there and what was yet to come? This will provide a glimpse into who I am, and how my work can help you in your life.
I will try to keep this story brief. I will begin where my awakening first started. At that time, I was an everyday housewife and mother. My children were in their teens, when I began having serious medical issues. In the beginning, I did not know what was actually wrong with me. I spent a year in bed, in a dark room, with no light or vibration. No sound. No movement. After many doctors and tests, I learned that I had a significate spinal injury, causing Occipital Migraines. These were extraordinarily painful and I spent much of my time in solitude since I could not handle any sound or vibration what so ever. I could barely move without excruciating pain.
During this time, I began to think a lot about my life. About how some patterns seemed to continue to repeat. I realized how I was always sick or healing from a serious illness or injury. I have had 11+ surgeries in my life. All different issues and incidents. During this particular time however, I really began to realize how much I was alone as a child as well. The realization that I was prone to depression from all of these incidents and occurrences. It was a vicious cycle in my life. I had no idea what to do about my situation or my life. I was always in a dark and in a lonely place. I just kept reliving my pain and sadness over and over again. On my own, I could not find the switch, to turn off this pain machine. My body was broken, my heart was broken, my mind was broken and my spirit was no where to be found. I was in a very low sad and extremely lonely place.
Now, about three and a half to four years ago, I began having terrible nightmares. Dreams that were so vivid, you would swear it was really happening. This went on for weeks, until I began to realize, this was real. It was happening. I was having consistent, unusual night occurrences. One particular evening, I was apparently, smothering myself in my sleep. Seriously! My ex-husband had awakened me, by removing my hands from my face. Saying, “You were gasping, I looked over, and had to remove your hands”. A different time, I remembered floating off my bed and waking as I am falling back onto my bed. I was enduring persistent nightmares, with the same entity attacking me, almost every night. Before this, I never really had dreams, at least not many that I remembered. I got to the point where I was afraid to go to sleep. I had to find help. I began searching around for anything that could provide me with some answers. I stumbled on a Facebook page for Spiritual Awakening. I paid close attention to the content of the page for a few days, just to see if there was anything that would come up that could help me. Anything that would shed light onto my situation. When something caught my attention on the thread.
I reached out to the person who had posted the article that caught my attention. I introduced myself, and then explained my situation to him. When we spoke, I asked him if I was just going crazy or was this really happening? Was this even real? What exactly am I dealing with? How do I get help for something like this? He gave me some of the best advice I could have ever received in my entire life. Without his wisdom and advice, I would not have found my path in this life. Briefly, he told me that what was happening was because I was awakening to my soul’s purpose. My light had been activated. I was a beacon for negative energy. Since I was in such a dark place in my life, I was definitely under spiritual attacks. These can become extremely physical. He advised me to perform a fire ceremony, to open a portal to dispel the negative entity and then immediately reseal it. This is just a brief synopsis of the events at the start of my journey.
I had never performed a Fire Ceremony before. I had never even seen one, let alone attend one. I was quite literally flying blind. Trusting that I had God on my side to help me. I had really no idea of what I was doing, other than the description provided to me. Even though I had no idea of what I was doing and/or as to why, I had to go through with it. I was being attacked almost daily. I was tired and desperate to try anything, even if I didn’t understand it fully. I had to follow the advice that had been given to me, in order to clear my energy and my space completely. This "being" was literally feeding off of my fear. This had to be done. This was a stand for my life and freedom from evil.
I asked my ex-husband to come along. First, of course I was afraid. Second, we were going out into the woods at night, during a Full Moon. Third, I felt that I needed strength in numbers. When we first arrived to the burn pile, we lit the fire. It needed to be nice and hot with good coals and lots of smoke. I sat down by the fire to pray and meditate, in order to open the space and ask for protection and guidance for myself and my companion. I presented an offering of Oats in Gratitude, to Spirit for their support, for what I was about to do. I picked up a stick and then I began to think of all my negative emotions that I had. All of my hurt, my pain, my anger, the nightmares, the fear, my sorrow, all of the abuse endured, as well as this entity, sending all of that energy into the stick through my intention. I stood then up, my ex-husband did as well, on opposite sides of the fire, we began walking in circles a few times to open the portal. I stopped for a moment, to say a prayer to the Father, my angels and guides, ancestors, Earth elementals, and Mother Gaia to help me release and transmute this energy. I lit the stick with some of the flame from the fire. I held it for a moment, while it became fully engulfed. Until I was unable to hold it any longer. I said a second prayer in gratitude for the support, wisdom, and guidance. Turning and walking back around the fire in the opposite direction a few times, just like before. This was to seal the portal.
Just as the ceremony was completed, the clouds parted, exposing the brightest Full Moon that I had ever seen. Just then, the birds began to sing, at night! It was a totally magical feeling. Like nothing I had ever experienced before. Then, I happened to look down at my feet before turning to head back to toward the house. When I noticed, right in front of me on the ground was a deer antler. We had walked around this fire so many times. There is no way we would have missed it every time. I knew that this was something. A sign. A symbol. A gift! I knew that this was my first sacred object from spirit. When I got home, I Googled, spirit gifts after ceremony or ritual. I came across an article about totems. I realized that this would be my first totem! A deer totem belongs to those who shine the light, so that others to may find their way back home to the light. As a power animal, it helps us create peace in our environment. As that is just what I had literally done! This is why I was presented with such a sacred object. They also speak of being kind and patient with oneself. Deer spirit asks for one to find peace, serenity, gentleness, and grace. Even in the toughest of challenges.
After that ceremony, I have never had another experience like those of the nightmares or any entities or attachments, again. I have continued to do my personal healing work, while starting my own spiritual practice, to help others heal trauma and deep soul wounding. Which is why I am sharing my gifts with you. I can do this by sharing all that I have learned, along my own healing journey. Through some of my insights, ancient wisdom, and love, as well as the healing energy from Spirit.
That fire ceremony was the first of many purging’s for me. To do soul healing and spiritual healing, we must go deep and pull-out old pain and trauma, in order to release it. If we don’t release negative energy from our bodies, we will get sick, continue to hurt others (because hurt people, will hurt people), and allow the dark to control our minds thus our life. This process allowed me to see things very differently. There is something much bigger than what meets the human eye. How everything is intrinsically connected. We are connected to the universal energies; which we feel in our emotions and everyday energies, hence astrology. Planetary energies and your complete astrological make-up. It is clear that we need Gaia (Earth), as she is our Mother, providing us with abundance, nourishment, beauty, as well as sustaining our life, as this is what a strong nurturing feminine does. We need Father Creator, the masculine ruler, provider, teacher, wise counsel, and shoulder that carries us, as a supportive father should. Our fellow human collective, are all of God's children. We are all brothers and sisters. We all need the same things to survive. We are all creators of our own lives. We choose to be who we are and what we do with the time we have on this planet. We are completely and totally connected. What you decide, does affect me and what I decide does affect you….
Let us touch briefly on polarity and duality for a moment. Polarity is the pull of opposites. A magnetic force. This represents opposite tendencies, duality (finding the balance between the two forces). We have both light and dark with in us. Good and Bad. When you become a beacon of light (more light than dark), the dark energy is naturally attracted to you. As you can not have one without the other. All of life has duality, which again means opposites. Good vs Evil, Light vs Dark, Hot vs Cold, Love vs Hate, Man vs Woman. Again these are all polarities. You can not just have one. We need both in order to have balance (duality, the Yin to the Yang) and in order to survive. In other words, we are all created from opposing energies, a male and a female. We have both within us. We are Masculine and Feminine, Good and Bad, Love and Hate. Healing yourself allows you to recognize your own patterns and what might need attending to from within. By doing this work you will find the healing that you my require, in order to feel fulfilled on this inside. We are creatures of habit. We project our pain. Thus hurting less people, because we no longer hurt.
Unfortunately, as humans we often mistake happiness, for things that are outside of us. For example, Cars, houses, careers, looks, clothing, food, or anything that we really want that will make us look amazing or that would make us happy. Materialism is actually dark energy. We are always looking for the next best thing that will make us sexier, thinner, cooler, smarter or make us stand out in the crowd. When we are already, unique and beautiful. At some point someone told us that we weren’t pretty enough, or we aren’t showing enough of our bodies to get attention. Or maybe that we have a smaller older house, that hasn’t been freshly remodeled. That new Audi, boy that would really get all the chicks. This career is going to pay all my bills and I can own anything I want. It takes up all of my time and unfortunately I may not have someone to share my bounty with because I cannot open my heart to love because I am too focused on money. These are all examples of the programming that we have learned. We all have a different program but many similarities. See this, recognize it, let it go. It is time to be true to you. Be true to who you are as a divine human being. Do you think those sexy shoes, make-up, video games, or that girl/boy is going to make you happy? Sure, yea, maybe, for a minute. Until the new one, that is bigger and better comes out. Then where is your happiness? In the new one, right? Just wait, the next best thing is coming. Aren’t you happy yet? Ask yourself, what are you actually seeking? Love, fulfillment, completion, happiness, and the truth, perhaps? What you seek will actually come from within you, not from that which is outside of you. This is what allowed me to see with new perspective, to life’s true purpose. I choose to further my path, as I was gifted to see the light of God. Quite literally, after seeing the darkness.
I chose to continue this journey and spiritual path because I could tangibly feel my healing taking place. I was feeling more relief, more freedom from negativity and sadness, feeling lighter and happier, than I had ever felt before. I knew that I was on the right track to something. I was creating change necessary for my life because I wasn't going to continue to live a life unfulfilled, let alone unhappy. I am the creator of my own life, so it was time to create something new and beautiful. I always felt like life just happens to us. We even used to see that on bumper stickers! Well, I am going to make life happen for me by taking control of my own life, truly for the first time. By allowing my spirit team to help bring to me that which is aligned for me and my highest and best good. I was freeing myself from sadness and darkness. No more limitations, restrictions, or cages. Instead, I am going to create from my heart, the home of my divine love and light.
I continue to have the support from my spirit team and guides, through synchronicities, messages from spirit, meditation and sleep guidance. Even through another soul who happens to cross my path, at just the right moment. For without that divine intervention, I may not have known how to proceed forward. Sometimes, it can be something as simple as a webpage popping up on my screen that I just need to read. Spirit messages are everywhere. You just need to be aware and live in the now moment. Not yesterday and not tomorrow, but what is happening around you today.
I have completed so much research, webinars, books and others classes. In order to further my knowledge, growth, and abilities. Since the beginning of this journey, I have learned of many of my capabilities, as well as my own inner strength, that I had no idea I even possessed. I am a channel for God and for divine energy. I can bring anything that is needed through my divine light channel. I will be continuing to further my knowledge and work, so that I may offer more care and services to you. In order to meet any and all of your spiritual healing needs, that may be required along your own personal healing journey.
This is my passion, my heart and my personal truth. I am becoming more fulfilled and happier, from within myself every day by sharing my love and light with you. I am so infinitely blessed, to be this guiding light for others. This work is my life’s dharma, a magical tapestry, woven with purpose and love specifically for you my loves.
Namaste my friends, I send you all the love and light that I can muster. Today and always, Amanda!